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How To Work With God In The Refining Process

I'm rough around the edges.

I always have been.

The streets tend to do that to people.

I've learned it's a defensive mechanism I've developed to survive.

I get you before you got me was my motto.

This belief created a brick wall around my heart.

It caused people a lot of pain.

Under no circumstances would I let anyone get to know me.

I didn't know myself.

I was afraid you wouldn't like me.

Often I wish I could be someone else.


When a person is ashamed of who he is, he creates a version of himself in his mind.

He sees everything through this lens.

It's hard for him to separate how things should be from how they are.

He developed a distorted outlook on life.

Instead of accepting reality, he demands everything go his way.

Surrendering to the realities of life is a lifelong process.

Some people refuse to see how their perception and behaviors are destroying their lives and their relationships.

So they suffer.

No one promised us things would go our way.


One of the most challenging truths is that we can not control people or outcomes.

We can influence them, but we can't control them.

We have limits on what we can do, and it frightens us.

That's why it's so essential for us to build a relationship with the God of our understanding.

He can do for us what you can't do for ourselves.

All He asks of us is to give Him our lives and follow Him.

He can take care of our children and save our marriage.

He can restore our finances.

He can calm any storm of life.

We must allow our lives to unfold His way and willingly go through the refining process.


There are impurities in our character.

In recovery, we call them character defects.

People-pleasing, dishonesty, manipulation, arrogance, laziness, and fear are some examples of our defects of character.

God wants to change us more than our circumstances.

And for Him to do that, we must go through the refining process.

Life's trials are an opportunity for us to get out of God's way and let Him do what He does.

It's going to burn, and we will feel the heat.

Either we continue to practice our character defects, or we try something new, like spiritual principles.

Faith, trust, hope, tolerance, and love are just a few principles of God.

Remember, the suffering isn't in letting go.

The pain is in holding on.


I kicked, prayed, and rebelled, but it didn't do any good.

I held on to my survival skills as long as I could.

It wasn't until the pain of holding on became more significant than the fear of change.

I slowly began to loosen my grip on my way of doing things.

When we turn our life over to God, we are allowing Him to work in our lives.

We learn to work with Him by listening to that little quiet voice we call our conscious and become willing to do what it says.

We learn to trust God despite our fear of uncertainty.

God has a plan for us.

We find the willingness to let go and let God by remembering our way of doing things doesn't work.

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